Charles DeVeaux

Social Theorist | Cultural Creative

Writing, producing, and facilitating works & conversations about love, modernity, and humanity.

This Is Risky Business

In yesterday's post I made a statement about the "risk" that society characterizes Love to be.   Like any subject, we find mixed messages in the national conversation.  On one hand there are the traditional institutions like religion and family, even friends, saying it's essential to do.  "Go fall in love; get married."  That's the side that the guilt trip comes from if you are having challenges in your love life.

At the same time you have economics dictating your actions too.  Certainly living with someone can help reduce costs, but what about all the costs associated with broken relationships.  Costs of residence change, possible shared debt, dividing belongings, dividing friends, and also, perhaps, what it will take to support children, if any were had.  Add to that the lost time.  Hey, time is money.

In yesterday's post I said,

"I've made risks for money, and have lost money.  I have made risks with false pride and lost friendships.  I have made risks for conditional "it-needs-to-be-done-this-way-to-work" kind of love and subsequently experienced MAJOR heartache and loss.  I have made risks for lust and, eh, you win some you lose some.  Be careful.  But my risks in Love have delivered nothing but huge payoffs.  Working toward a union of ideas and practices which make the relationship feel full, yet selfless, has been worthwhile in spite of the the scary and unfamiliar experiences that came with it."

EVERYTHING is risky when you don't know what you're doing.  It stays that way until you learn how things work.  And, even then, you'll still learn new lessons.  But when you learn, at least you minimize the risks.  And that's all we can ask for.  I took a risk with my life just by getting out of bed this morning.  Folks who are good with money, tend to gain it, not lose it.  The same is the case with love, even though it is seen as an emotional practice,  rather than a logical one.  The more practice you get handling emotional challenges, the more likely you can manage all the crazy quirks of a love life.  So, on this blog, I hope to share some things that maybe inspire you to go take some risks with love.

Like money, love doesn't grow if you do nothing.  Right now, if you are in a relationship with someone, let them know they've been worth the risk.  If they haven't, then have a good talk - maybe 'ultratalk.'  And if you're not in a relationship, I recommend stretching out and making some more good friends.  Good friends are absolutely invaluable.