Charles DeVeaux

Social Theorist | Cultural Creative

Writing, producing, and facilitating works & conversations about love, modernity, and humanity.

Part 3 Fin. LoveRules #9 - Love, Self-Defined

This is the last, somewhat delayed, part of LoveRules #9, for now...  ;o) (re-read the others if you need to...  found in the previous blog posts.)

Shoot for the ideal ! Some people call this "starting with the end in mind."  I realize "IDEAL" can be a tricky word. Here, I mean it in the sense of best case scenario.  Holding yourself, best as possible, to imagining a person who would meet your personal quality standard. This is not meant in the sense of absolute perfection, or in terms of flawless looks and gobs of cash. You can desire those things if you would like. But those ideals can be fleeting, temporal. I don't suggest focussing on them.  But rather, aim for the ideal in terms of your lifestyle (activities), your values, your ideals in terms of personal substance.

If you are a traveler, don't think you can't find someone just because up until now, you never felt long distance relationships could work. Life is short.  Change your mind.  Know there is someone out there who likes to travel, or, someone who understands people sometimes need to travel for work for significant amounts of time, and is okay with it. Perhaps it gives them personal time they don't mind having every now and again. This is a new world ready for people with courage and daring to create new relationship arrangements.  How creative can you get in the name of Love? There is at least one person, or two, out there for each of us. Someone who fits well with what we do, complements our life. Instead of looking for someone who seems money rich, set in mind that you desire a person who is industrious and business savvy.  You might find someone who is temporarily cash rich, with no fundamental idea how he or she acquired his or her wealth, later to lose that wealth. But desiring someone who is industrious and business savvy is a little more descriptive of a person's characteristic or substance.  Finding that person would be finding someone who, if parted from his or her wealth, would know how to acquire it again. Now isn't that real wealth?

Remember. Desire in another, that which you would desire and are willing to work for, in yourself.  Make room for more...